Module 7: Introductory

And time goes by....(courtesy of Aging Booth and the iphone)

When I was a child, like many others, the first relationship that I remember having with and old person was with my grandmothers, Grandma Zima and Nana.  My concept of them being “old” came from the differences that I noticed from my parents.  Grandma Zima lived in an assisted living apartment.  She had white hair, and smelled funny to me.  Her kisses were very loving, but wet.  I have only known my Nana to live in a nursing home.  The nursing home certainly smelled funny, a similarity to Grandma Zima, and it was always a process to visit her because she was slow moving with her walker. 

It is difficult to pinpoint when I will consider myself old because now, at 29, I still think of myself as 14.  Perhaps I will consider myself old when the inevitable physical changes start to occur during middle age and biologically, I feel like I am weakening.  As I explained in the previous module, I am making good decisions with my health now, so that I can do everything in my power to ensure a healthy future. I do hope that when I am old, I will enjoy many of the same physical activities that I do now such as running, and dancing.  But, I believe that my favorite activity will be spending time with my loved ones, as it is now.  One of the biggest challenges in the future may be mourning the losses that I will inevitably face.  I am sure that I will mourn the loss of certain physical activities, physical health and mental faculties, but the most challenging will certainly be the loss of a family member or friend.

Family and friends are by far the most important aspect of my life now, and I am positive they will be the most important aspect of my life when I am old.  My family and circle of friends will surely change, but they will always remain the highest priority.

My ideas and beliefs of old age come from not only my personal experience, but from the media as well.  We are all exposed to what old may look like, or rather, what old can look like.  For example, in the movie The Notebook the main characters who shared an incredible love story, Noah and Allie, are now aged and living together in a nursing home.  Allie has dementia and Noah reads to her to remember their love story.  The idea of old here, is that time is fleeting and the body breaks down but love is withstanding. Although this is fiction, chronic illness like dementia is prevalent.  On the other hand, I enjoy watching the Ironman Triathlon World Championships in Kona, Hawaii.  There are always men and women in their 80’s that are racing and defying the odds of their age.  Old is an idea…a concept.  You are as young as you feel.  How young are you? 

Module 6: Middle Adulthood

As I reflect on the lessons from this module, I realize that many of the decisions that I am making now, at age 29, will most likely be major factors in my future happiness during middle adulthood.  It is my hope that the manner in which I am choosing to live now, will have a positive impact in my future.  Life, however, tends to throw the proverbial curveball for which one is unable to prepare and those are the aspects of middle adulthood that concern me the most.

My main concern about middle-adulthood in the reality of the inevitable losses I will endure, namely in family.  As I age, my parents, family, and friends will as well, and my fears center around losing those that are closest to me.  It is important now, to foster and maintain strong bonds with my family and friends so as to enjoy every moment that we are all healthy and together.  Another concern about middle adulthood is the degradation of health, as chronic illness begins to rise during this time (Hutchinson, 2011).  I am concerned that as I age, chronic illness may take over my life and inhibit me from living fully, or taking care of others that need my help.  Additionally, financial security is important to me for the future.  Financial security equals self-reliance, and affords the opportunity and ability to provide for the next generation, or even previous generations who may need financial assistance. 

There are many aspects of middle adulthood that are concerning, but I choose not to live in fear.  Rather, I choose to be proactive and establish patterns and routines now that will serve me in the future.  When I began teaching at the tender age of 22, my mentor told me that I had to establish a 403B as soon as I signed my first paycheck.  His words were, “Take fifty dollars out of every paycheck you ever get.  You’ll never miss it and you will be thankful in thirty years.” (E. Orzulak, personal communication, 2005). The establishment of a retirement fund is one proactive and responsible step that I am taking now, to prepare for middle-adulthood.  In addition, it is important for me to establish a solid, healthy partnership with my boyfriend as we look towards marriage.  Romance and intimacy of course play an important role in any partnership, but I feel that financial security and solid communication play a more important role.  VanLaningham, Johnson, & Amato found that there was a general decline in marital happiness into middle adulthood, possibly due to the multiple roles aging couples must take on (as cited in Hutchinson, 2011, p.337).   My choice of long-term partners now, can and will affect my life later and therefore it is important for me to choose not only a loving man, but a responsible, communicative man as well.

As I move through my twenties and into my thirties I can feel internal shifts occurring in my life that will ultimately influence my pathway through middle adulthood.  Right now, I am working to cut the umbilical cord from my parents and their beliefs and truly realize what I value, spiritually.  Wink & Dillon see “spiritual growth as a positive outcome of a maturation process.” (as cited in Hutchinson, 2011, p.333).  As I mature spiritually, I hope to establish a clearer sense of self; a self that will be balanced and prepared to take on the curveballs that life will certainly throw.  To thwart the curveballs that I have some control over I have become aware of certain bad habits that will not serve my future and have taken the responsibility for dealing with issues now, in order to sustain maximum holistic health for my future.  I am consciously moving through my life right now, being present for, and cognizant of the decisions that I make and how they will affect my future.  Middle adulthood seems far away to me, but if the first thirty years moved as fast as they did, surely the next thirty will too.

Reference:

Hutchinson E. D. (2011). Dimensions of Human Behavior. The Changing Life Course (CLC) (4^th ed.) Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage

Module 5D: Social Issues

“A sizable minority of America's youth aren't in school or attached to the labor force. And it's costing taxpayers big.” (Berman, 2012) Unemployment of youth and young adults has been challenging for society as a whole, families, and individuals alike. 

 

According to an article in the Huffington Post, “each one of these 6.7 million young people is costing taxpayers $13,900 per year and it doesn't stop there. After 25 years old, they'll cost taxpayers $170,740 over their lifetime, the report found.” (Berman, 2012) The employment opportunities typically saved for young adults are given to older, more experienced workers, leaving a small pool of jobs for younger adults to develop their experience and skill. 

According to Hutchinson, transitioning to the employment world is an important transitional marker for young adults. (2011) An individual’s human capital community assets are also important factors for young adults transitioning to the world of work. In the current economy, young adults are finding less and less opportunities to transition into the world of work and therefore perhaps delaying their transition into full adulthood. Unemployed young adults are more likely to rely on their family, or transformative assets, in order to move forward in their own lives due to lack of income. Even with a college education, young adults are facing difficulties finding a job and therefore finding it difficult to pay off the college loans that they have accrued in order to achieve a higher education.

The recession that we have faced in this economy has uniquely affected the young adults in this country in that the demographic is finding it difficult to achieve gainful employment. It will be interesting to observe how the country comes out of the recession and how the young adult demographic expresses its resiliency.  

References:

 Berman, J. (2012, Jan 18). Unemployed, Out-of-School Youth Costing American Tax Payers nearly $14,000 Per Year, Report Finds. The Huffington Post.

 Hutchison, E.D. (2011). Dimensions of human behavior: the changing life course. (4th ed.). California: The Sage Publications.

Module 5C: Transitional Markers

     Transitional markers, as presented in Hutchinson (2011), highlight the life-events that indicate the achievement of adulthood. These transitional markers vary in sequence and timing based on the psychological readiness of the individual. (p.274) In my own experience, the transitional markers of financial independence and renegotiating one’s own relationship with parents are two of the best indicators of adulthood. Establishing financial independence came as a result of gainful employment and careful savings. I no longer had to rely on my parents to provide for me. Financial independence paved the way for me to make adult decisions about living, travelling, automobiles, and daily living. I was in charge of my financial situation and with that came responsibility. Unless absolutely necessary, to rely on family to financial help hinders one from becoming an autonomous and independent person.  

      To renegotiate one’s relationship with their parents is an important step. In my own life, I found a sense of freedom when I was able to view my parents as people, rather than my parents. I came out of the ego-centrism that ruled my adolescence and I was able to “cut the umbilical cord” and reassess the roles that my parents play in my life, and with this I found freedom and independence.

 However, I am not sure that any one, or even an achievement of all of these transitional markers would truly indicate a full transition from adolescence to adulthood. For example, becoming a parent is one of the transitional markers for adulthood. My sister made a decision that she does not want children, and arguably this is a very adult decision that she made with her husband. Each of the transitional markers could be dismissed based on cultural norms, financial stability of the family, family illness, etc. It would be best to examine each person on the micro, mezzo, and macro systems levels to gain the deepest understanding about what their transitional markers would have been in their lives. 

The case study of Johnny Nunez, at the micro systems level he has not achieved all of the transitional markers outlined in Hutchinson. (2011) Johnny has not left home, but he has arguably achieved all of the other markers such as becoming a parent, committing to a relationship, and gained independence in decision making. At the mezzo systems level, Johnny and his girlfriend had to discuss and come to the agreement, for example, that Johnny would stay home with the children rather than sending them to daycare. This would save the family money, as his girlfriend works full time. On the macro systems level, they made the decision because due to the poor economic times, Johnny was out of work. Although Johnny still lives with his father, their relationship had to be renegotiated as his father is no longer in the caretaker role. Johnny Nunez, although still young and 20, is obviously dealing with very adult responsibilities and has achieved several of the transitional markers to young adulthood.

In the case of 25-year-old Sheila Henderson, her tours abroad for the military have kept her away from her boyfriend and daughter for extended periods of time. Although she has a 5-year-old daughter, her motherly responsibilities have been thwarted by her time away and with that, her boyfriend has been the sole provider of discipline to the child. It will take renegotiating on both of their parts in order to establish a “new normal” for family routines as Sheila assimilates back into civilian society. It is important to view Sheila’s transitional markers in a different way. She pursued a vocation to the military and has given much of her life in the past few years to this vocation. Tours abroad, especially during wartime, force one into adulthood with a totally new and different set of transitional markers. 

In the case of Carla Aquino, on paper it seems as though she has seamlessly achieved the transition to adulthood. Carla is involved in her community, living with her husband and has a job that she is dedicated to. Like many professional women, Carla is faced with fears about how she will transition from working professional woman, to working professional woman and mother. Although she has the support of many family members, I can understand how she would feel anxious about taking on another important role, as she is already dedicated to so many, but from what I understand, nothing can truly prepare you for motherhood and it is something that you learn as you go. Carla and her husband have not only the support of many family members in the area, but also of an extended network and community of people in their area including their faith-based organization. Supports offer great help when transitioning roles in our lives.  

Reference:

Hutchison, E.D. (2011). Dimensions of human behavior: the changing life course. (4^th ed.). California: The Sage Publications.

Module 5B: Aging Out

     Like many other adolescents my age, I needed support during the transition from adolescence to adulthood. On the contrary to the stories that were shared by the young adults from the video, I had a supportive family and community to guide me through this transitional time. 

      My family raised me in South Windsor, CT and I attended South Windsor Public Schools for my entire primary and secondary schooling. When senior year came around, I was guided by my mother and school system as I applied to colleges and universities. I had never lived in another town or city, and I was uneasy, but excited, about a transition to college. My mother drove with me and attended several different campus tours in various parts of the eastern United States. She was patient and helpful during these trips as she helped by asking questions and bringing up concerns about which I had no idea of like meningitis in college, and financial aid. Ultimately, I went to the University of Connecticut, only forty minutes from my childhood home. My mother bought me everything that I would need and even helped move me into my dorm. She only left after she properly made my bed and made sure that I had my meal card.

      This is a completely different experience to the stories shared in the videos that told of the hardships that children face as they move from home to home, hoping to be adopted and aging out of the system at the tender age of 18 to fend for themselves. The process of “aging out” must be examined and bettered in order to make sure that these children, who are innocent of any transgressions that put them into the system in the first place, are able to make a meaningful transition into the real world and act as contributing members to society. The State has a responsibility to these foster care children to help them by setting up transitional programs that would teach job training, resume writing, interview skills, basic financial skills, cooking, cleaning, etc. These are the lessons that they would have received as a natural growing and learning process had they been taken care by a family for their entire childhood. We as Americans, owe it to the children of our country to help them become productive members of society so that they can reach their full potential. 

      I find it interesting that many criminal systems often have a transitional program to help criminals rejoin society, even offer half-way houses and assign parole officers in order to make sure that they are doing what is right, yet we simply tell our children that their state protection is done and they have to sink or swim in society. I see this as an egregious example of human rights violations. Article #25 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights states that “Everyone has the right to a standard of living adequate health and well-being… other lack of livelihood in circumstances beyond his control.” (UDHR, 1948) When children are unable to provide for themselves because of they are ill-equipped from their childhood, it is our responsibility as a nation to provide support for them in order to help them become productive members of our society.

Reference:

United Nations. (1948). Universal Declaration of Human Rights. Paris; United Nations.

Module 4: Death, Dying, and Spirituality

     This unit has come at an interesting time in my personal spiritual journey and the lessons that I have connected with have deepened my understanding of myself and the experiences of others.

     

     As I turn 30 this year, I am looking forward to what I feel will be a spiritual awakening.  I have spent many years now searching for my true beliefs surrounding spirituality and faith and have found that my beliefs had been intertwined with a fear of death.  I have feared the inevitable loss of family, as well as what the "after life" may or may not be.  This particular module has forced me to examine my fears and connect them with my spirituality and gain a clearer sense of what I believe.  

  

  The most poignant lesson that I am taking from this module is that of the importance of self-awareness. It is only when we are aware of our own beliefs that we can fully appreciate the richness of our differences with others.  I have learned that it is fundamentally important to protect future clients from my own filter.  In order to allow someone to fully express their grief and bereavement in an authentic and organic way, I must gently guide them through the process that is natural for their set of beliefs and their cultural background.

     I  believe that everyone is spiritual, whether they believe in Spirit or not.  It is not my job to judge another, but to support them in whatever processes they need to experience in order to be at peace with themselves and their lives.  

Module 3B: Reflection

After reviewing my classmates’ discussion postings about refugee and immigration experiences, I feel enlightened to the various ways in which social workers need to be compassionate and empathetic with this population. 

Cara created excellent questions that she would ask a potential client that demonstrate her mindfulness of the experiences that clients may have had.  One such question she posed was, “Are you more comfortable speaking with a man or a woman?” (Donahue, 2012).   This is a simple question that has far reaching affects. Asking this question to a client that has been through a difficult experience like fleeing their home country, will help them develop a sense of trust, power, and control in certain situations.  It may help them to feel that the social worker is sensitive to any possible tragedies or trauma that they may have experienced during their journey.  If a woman refugee, for example, has experienced certain traumas at the hands of a man, then she may feel very uncomfortable speaking with a male social worker.

I was also humbled by the question Cara posed about immediate needs.  She asks, “At this moment in time, what is the most critical need that you have? (Food, shelter, clothing, medical attention, someone to talk to…).” (Donahue, 2012)  It is important for a social worker to attend to the most critical and immediate needs of the client in order to help them feel safe and secure.  If a refugee or an immigrant is troubled first and foremost about food and shelter, those are basic needs that must be attended to before the social worker is truly able to connect with the client on any other level.  Additionally, this may help the client establish a greater sense of trust, knowing that someone is helping them immediately.

Jennie and Becky had both mentioned the importance of asking clients about their experience coming immigrating as well as the client’s ability to stay in contact with their family from home.  This too is a good way of connecting with clients on a more personal level to gain a deeper understanding of the experiences that a client may have had to endure in order to flee their country.

Drachma, in her article “Stage-of-Migration Framework for Service to Immigrant Populations” describes the resettlement stage in which a client’s expectations of reception in the new country compare to the reality of the reception in terms of the interactions with service personnel. (1992) The questions that my classmates have created are a testament to their empathic nature.  I take away a clear message of care and concern for the whole person and I realize that when dealing with clients who may have suffered trauma, it may be best to make sure that they feel in control and secure before moving ahead with connecting with them on a deeper level.

Reference:

Donahue, C. (2012).  Learning Space Discussion Board. Human Behavior and the Social Environment II.  Fordham University.

 Drachman, D. (1992). A stage-of-migration framework for service to immigrant populations. Social Work, 37(1), 68-72. 

Module 2 Reflection

“The primary task for this period is that young adults come to terms with their family of origin—a powerful shaper of reality, influencing who, when, how, and whether they will marry and how they will carry out all succeeding stages of the family life cycle.” (McGoldrick&Carter, 2002, p.384)

I grew up in a seemingly small suburban town.  To this day I can still name and recognize most of my graduating class from high school.  The social pressures that I felt during adolescence were not unlike what many young girls face like fitting in, choosing the right clothing, finding the right hairstyle, and being “cool” overall.  I was fairly confident in myself as I had many friends, participated in many activities, and enjoyed the time that I spent at school and socially.  I never felt pressured to do drugs or drink, I simply felt that those weren’t the right choices for me and declined when my friends participated.  I was not ostracized for my decisions; I was accepted.

The pressure that I did feel came from my home life.  My family was unlike other families in my orbit.  My parents were divorced, and I lived with my stepfather and stepsisters, as well as my much younger half brother.  My father lived down the street with another woman.  I felt different than others because my friends’ parents were mostly all still married. 

If the primary task for a young adult is to come to terms with their family of origin, which is supposedly a powerful shaper of who we are to become as adults, what happens when the family of origin leaves a young adult lost and confused?  The social pressure that I felt was indirect.  My family was different and I was extremely angry with my parents, all three of them, for putting my life in such a precarious position.  I was angry that I had no control over what was going on in my life, and I was angry that no one ever spoke about it. 

I responded to these circumstances in different ways.  As angry as I was at my parents, all I wanted to do was please them and so I did all that I could to be a high academic achiever, All-State volleyball player, captain of every team, Eagle of the Cross recipient, and all around “good-girl”.  I saw how my older sisters, who were not making good choices were perceived by my family, and I was anxious to avoid the same perception. 

I remained in my “good girl” bubble, but coped with the social and internal pressure to be perfect with an insidious eating disorder.  The pressure that I felt to deal with my family issues by myself and please everyone else at the same time led to turmoil in my life that I was not equipped to deal with.  I found solace in silently suffering through my eating disorder…a suffering that felt good to me. 

Ironically, the same things that I was struggling to cope with, my family and the social pressure to be perfect were the social supports that helped me.  Although my family life was not perfect, I loved my family dearly and tried my hardest to be the peacekeeper and open the lines of communication for everyone to talk, although no one ever did.  My social circle in school was also a great comfort to me.  I was happiest at school, with my friends, at practice, and at youth group. 

In reflection, there were social supports that would have been positive influences for me.  I would have benefited from psychotherapy or family therapy.  When my parents divorced, we moved in with my stepfamily, my mother became pregnant, and my mother and stepfather married (in that order), a family discussion about circumstances would have helped all of us process what was happening together.  It would have been beneficial to have some dialogue, whether with my family or a social service professional to help me through these changing times in my life. 

            My family of origin did help shape me; but in many ways it was a learning experience about what I didn’t want to have happen in my future.  It was a way for me to realize the important qualities and characteristics that a solid family foundation should maintain.  The struggles that I faced only serve now as a precedent of power and strength to persevere through trials and tribulations.

Reference

McGoldrick, M. and Carter, B. (2002). The family life cycle. In F. Walsh

(Ed.) Normal family processes; Growing diversity and complexity (3rd ed.),

chapter 14, pp. 375-398. New York: Guilford Press.